(no subject)

[inahandbasket]

the jesus toilet.
"The members of the Immanuel Lutheran Church in Waukee have come up with a novel method of raising funds. They place a brightly painted toilet in people's front yards. The toilet has "I ♥ Jesus" written on the tank. They'll only remove the toilet if the homeowners make a donation."

I'd love for them to try that one with me.
"Ok, here's how this is going to work. I'm going to close my front door, and go fetch my sledgehammer out of the basement. If you and that thing are still on my property when I get back, I'm going to remove it." *closes door*


*edit*
Does that seem a little harsh of me? My feeling is that it's basically extortion...

Comments

[geekpixie.livejournal.com]

Or if you're my grandmother, you just plant flowers in it...

[primal-pastry.livejournal.com]

I like this idea! You know, where "flowers" means mistletoe or rosemary ...

[jbsegal.livejournal.com]

Who the hell WOULDN'T say that??

[9mm.livejournal.com]

I would just take a nice big steaming dump in it...

[road-to-hell.livejournal.com]

That was my first reaction.

Or call the cops. I think that's trespassing or littering. It's something illegal though, I'm pretty sure.

[wanderyng1.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought that!

[faux-eonix.livejournal.com]

I would call the police.

[johncoxon.livejournal.com]

Flamethrower. :D

[infinitehotel.livejournal.com]

Smashing certainly has an appeal, but you could always take the Indian approach. Hit the dump for a few more toilets and paint them to say "Buddha", "Vishnu", "The Flying Spaghetti Monster", and a big "?".

Always room for a few more gods on my front lawn...

[squirrella.livejournal.com]

oh, i'd make a donation all right. a donation of CRAP.

[krank-kether.livejournal.com]

The church IS extortion. Always has been, always will be.

Personally, I'd grab it, and all the other toilets I saw on peoples' front lawns, and smash them on the church's lawn.

[axessdenyd.livejournal.com]

...which church?

[harm-city-heart.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking something involving explosives. Everyone loves an exploding toilet!

Totally not harsh. It's litter on your property.

[sunspiral.livejournal.com]

Of course it's extortion. Time for the sledgehammer.

[bluewillowtree.livejournal.com]

Yes, as a fundraiser, I say that's absolutely extortion, NOT fundraising. Your sledgehammer plan sounds like the way to go.

[primal-pastry.livejournal.com]

I don't know... the sledgehammer is a great idea in theory, but then you have porcelain shards all over your yard. If you chuck it at the car it came it you do Way More damage with much less mess.

[jjjiii]

Extortion, tresspassing, and littering, I would say. I'd just take it inside and refuse to give it back to them until they paid me.

[mrf-arch.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

[sykii.livejournal.com]

Extortion, vandalism, trespassing... take your pick, really.

[sykii.livejournal.com]

I guess I should read other people's comments before I chime in, huh?

[jimmi-obadger.livejournal.com]

That's like that legendary subway musician who plays his horn really loudly and terribly and demands ten dollars to go on to the next car.

Seriously, if someone planted an "I <3 Jesus" toilet in my front yard, i'd probably fall over laughing. In fact, i think i'd leave it there, just so i could giggle some more every time i came home. I might even put some explanatory signage on it so other folks could get in on the joke.