inahandbasket: animated gif of spider jerusalem being an angry avatar of justice (happy)
inahandbasket ([personal profile] inahandbasket) wrote2003-09-17 02:25 pm

(no subject)

Here's something that's been piquing my interest lately...
Mostly for the guys, but I fully expect all women to fill it out too, there's options for you as well.

[Poll #181229]

[identity profile] 9mm.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 11:30 am (UTC)(link)
Either really. *shrug*

[identity profile] prosicated.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 11:55 am (UTC)(link)
You, my dear, are a prude. I mean, c'mon, there are so many lovely, descriptive, humorous terms for what you so politely call "it," and you've declined to use them!
If I had a penis or similar paraphenalia, I would hold it with both hands and make useful sound effects while pissing. Sound effects might include, but are not limited to creaky door noises, animal noises, airplane sounds, light saber battle noises, cartoon themes songs, operatic arias, etc. The best part is, it's true, I really would.
As for which hand would "whip it out," it would depend on my lower body clothing at the time of pissage. I suspect that with a skirt, my right hand would move the skirt and my left would operate my joystick. Whereas if trousers were my current clothing, I might prefer to uncloack my one-eyed superhero with a flourish and my dominant right hand. On days when I wore neither (or nothing) Perhaps my deer geeky boyfriend could draft me an algorithm for which hand to use given othre various arcane circumstances as it would be rude to deprive either hand of the glory of the fleshy toothpick, the poor man's pool cue, or, in my case, the imaginary 8 foot pink banana.

[identity profile] jimmi-obadger.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 11:59 am (UTC)(link)
I want an imaginary eight foot pink banana.

[identity profile] prosicated.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 12:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd show you mine, but it's at the cleaners. =)

[identity profile] prosicated.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 12:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I supposed I've ruined that now, haven't I?
In case your prudish LJ friends are of the ilk who think women can't have 8 foot pink bananas (bananads? hahaha) that piss if they so choose, I apologize to anyone's offended delicate (and prudish!) sensibilities.

I also apologize for my typos in the previous comment. =)

[identity profile] oceanic.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm deeply offended. I want my money back.
Actually, what I really want is for you to think of a hundred more of those and post them in your journal, so I can spend an hour laughing as hard as I just spent the last two minutes. :)

[identity profile] jimmi-obadger.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Ducks, eh? That's an interesting new euphamism.

[identity profile] axessdenyd.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 01:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, you'd just have to do the effects at home, because we don't make sounds in the men's room.

And if it's not a men's room, it'd better not have the urinals. Unless there's a bigger secret in the world than I thought (but I wouldn't be suprised).

[identity profile] prosicated.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 03:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, there is, but it might not involve men's rooms.
Besides which, I wouldn't necessarily use the men's room just because I had my very own fire hose, so there.

[identity profile] axessdenyd.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, you know, I just brought up the men's room thing because the original question did, in fact, specify "Urinals".

[identity profile] prosicated.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 07:31 pm (UTC)(link)
They could be co-ed bathrooms, and by definition, urinals could be anything you urinate into, even if the term usually refers to the basins rechristened "fountain" by one marcel duchamp/r mutt/role selavie...

(I forgot about that. I am now justifying. go me.)

[identity profile] axessdenyd.livejournal.com 2003-09-18 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
Co-ed bathrooms somehow just strike me as wrong.
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] jimmi-obadger.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 01:03 pm (UTC)(link)
No, it just feels that good. ;)

[identity profile] axessdenyd.livejournal.com 2003-09-17 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
You know as well as I do that there can't be a thread about male anatomy without the obligatory "Mine's bigger" joke.

How about this one: "Mine's so big it's still got snow on it in the summer"?